congratulations, malady, you are the proud owner of me for an extra 12 hours...

apparently my flight was at 730 am...as there's no way that could have been intentional, i obviously missed it

-coach

anyone who owned a nintendo growing up would be doing themselves a great service to check this out.

if you're not using microsoft internet explorer:
right click and save target
or
right click and copy hyperlink url, open windows media player, file-->open url...-->paste

-coach

Auto response from Max W83: after watching mtv's "rich girls" for less than five minutes, i have completely lost faith in my generation. this might seem harsh but consider this quote: "kids in the midwest don't buy cargo pants because theyre popular, they buy them because they have a lot of pockets and they need them because they work in the fields" -idiot rich girl

-coach and broach

well i did it again...i should just learn my lesson and stop trying to take my girlfriend home cuz every time i do, i get a ticket for something.
oh yea, i also had my license confiscated this time. i can't drive anymore.
oh yea, the taco bell, from which i was 10 yards and approaching, closed while the douche bag cop was taking his sweetass time to write me a ticket for my fucking tints at 3am...happy thanksgiving cocksmoker
oh yea, my window also broke and wont go up

fuck you god, and your little world too

-coach

take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and my lady is pretty.

-coach

excerpt from the next juice song:

"...i dont care what goddam hour, i love pissing in the goddam shower..."

- broach

Auto response from vAnDe1786 (2:58:55 PM): Have you ever wondered how we got milk? What makes a person decide, "Hey I think I am gonna go over to that cow and pull on those things hanging down and drink whatever comes out."

-coach and broach

auto response from loudmoutho: It's about that time to party in the city where the heat is on, all night on the beach to the break of dawn...

....

-coach and broach

it was good to see the poll get up to 26 votes, although one was accidentally placed for the left, by coachy mcguy, while wasted..
i didnt realize that many people pay attention to us but encouraging nonetheless

-coach and broach

Auto response from IanP84 (10:22:20 AM): let me tell you a little story,
there was this time when i was sitting in my room, watching tv.. i decide that i am bored with that channel that i am watching and proceed to change the channel with my right hand only.. being the amateur channel changer that i am, i drop the remote, and try to be very very sneaky... i go really fast and hard to try to grab the remote before it hits the gound and guess what happens? yes you are correct- i hit my right testicle will full force and cause this pain that i have not felt in years, de balls in de stomach, yes it is de worst pain of dem all, good late to me i will be crying for years

-cnb

i think its great that absolutely every person has a countdown to miami. well 'tis the shit i must agree and uhh...two days till miami WOOOOHOOOOOO

-broach

apparently this is the message we left for our resident director, tim, last night on his chalkboard...
drunk much? you can sort of make out the ninja turtles that were the start of the whole debachle...michaelangelo on the left is more decipherable
may or may not be a game of tic-tac-toe in the middle

-coach and broach

kids that didn't grow up sharing the name of a ninja turtle missed out on an extra part of childhood...like growing up without parents

leon: leonardo is responsible for my childhood self-confidence and leadership skills
mike: michelangelo was a big influence on my...pizza-eating

-coach and broach

c/o herschy

-coach and broach

at the taque,
the taqueria.
for great tacos y quesadillas.
por favor amigo,
un super burriiiiiiiito
at the taqueeeeeee,
taqueriiaaaaaaaa.

-coach and broach

oh glorious chipwich...so faithful and unwaivering in its acceptance to always playing backup to dove bar

-coach

i want to apologize to seth for taking advantage of him when he was in an extremely vulnerable state. id like to confess that i charged him $7 for a dove bar when he was real high. Im an asshole and i hope god, and seth, can forgive me for my sins.

-broach

please take a minute to complete the poll to the below
assume that the buddy list does not affect desktop icons or other windows by being on either side...just a matter of preference



-coach

so i just received 3 points out of 10 on my comp project...a step down from last weeks 4/8.

fuck.

-coach

here's a worst for you: so ive been sick the past couple a days and thus have had a good amount of boogers. So im in class today, sitting by the window. I kinda lean towards the window and get a good nose blow in, hoping no one would notice. After the nose blow i try to be real subtle about the "snot glance"-come on you all know damn well that after you blow your nose that you have to look at what you've produced; analyze the color, density, etc. (this is also comparable to the "poop glance" after a wipe)- despite the normality of this procedure, some girl caught my little snot glance and gave me THE WORST look ever. whatever i dont feel that bad- i know she does the same thing...fuckin whore.

-Broach

we're a postin', postin', postiiiiin'...postin' machiiiiine.

speaking of which, michael jackson is again wanted on molestation charges...in the words of the great GBiergo "i hope he can mooonwalk his way out of this one"

-coach and broach

puzzle update 1: in what could be the most industrious 2 hours of my life, i did some great puzzle work...after sorting through all of the 1026-piece bag, i have linked 13 pieces of homer's beard together, as well as found 3 2-piece random matches, separated all the edge pieces into the bag on the right, located all four corners, and gathered a SHITLOAD of random pieces in the box (most of which appear to be upside down), as seen in the picture.

in doing so i was reminded of such classic simpsons episodes as bart kissing ms. krabappal after passing 3rd grade and episode #1: bart the genius...the shot of the scrabble board comes up a lot...this also made for a great trivia question last night:
q: what is a big, fat, bafoon with a short temper
hint: the word bart makes up to cheat at scrabble when his parents think he is a genius

-coach

"you didn't forget today's column did you?"

-coach and broach

FINALLY jessi berrin makes herself useful, with a positive message to girls everywhere

Some Sisterly Advice on boys:
College Lesson #2:
Put Out or Get out!

acceptable to say the least...no need to rag on her for that one

-coach and broach

it has just come to my attention that celine dion not only has her own perfume...ahem, "parfum" ...but a website known as celinedionbeauty.com...i know im not the only one who realizes that celine dion is in fact one of the most unattractive "celebrities" to date.

also, no one wants to smell like an ugly person.
much less an ugly canadian.
dot com.

-coach

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&ncid=1756&e=1&u=/031119/ids_photos_sp/r4251977042.jpg
-pat

-coach and broach

new tv is here in its 24 inches of glory! i'll drink to that

-coach and broach

pat's away message- should be known by all

Berg of G: dude can i tell u a story
PDiDdY54: i would love a story
Berg of G: im really high...the end.

were just providers of entertainment for all here at coach and broach co.

-c & b

for all who havent seen, here is a picture, taken by muff, of a page of ocean drive magazine which contains a picture of cameron and paris hilton...the caption includes his name, first in fact, which is interesting

-coach and broach

our gumball machine was a huge success and a huge failure all at the same time...its only been out there a few hours and already we've gotten comments from practically everyone in the hall...unfortunately those comments include little more than "are you leon and mike? your gumball machine stole my quarter...a few actually."

turns out the jawbreakers were too big, have a free one on us.

-coach and broach

ok so apparently we missed some kind of victoria's secret show while attending the simpsons trivia contest...honestly, its a toss-up...
to all who saw the show, we would appreciate some comments describing your favorie scene/shot/tit/whatever.

-coach and broach

so we had a simpsons trivia contest here tonight in the campus center...while leon was unable to advance past the preliminaries hill coachandbroach.blogspot.com was well represented as is now the proud owner of a $10 gift certificate to california pizza kitchen and a 1026 piece homer jigsaw photomosaic puzzle (which looks to be impossible)...although the 5 foot cardboad homer standup was "not for sale," i was able to acquire a "tufts no-homers club" t-shirt.

comment with a good simpsons trivia question

-coach and broach

di smitty

-coach and broach

dom, we already have a friend named johnny v...choose a new alias per favore.

-c n b

c+b in the place to be see, and we got what it takes to rock the mic *right*

-ugh

fuck all you fuckers who 1. said we should allow comments and 2. say that we are slacking on posts, when it is thou who doth not comment.
in what could very well be the greatest disappointment of the 21st century, we have yet to here 1 scandalicious story about michelle pellicer...we thought this would be easy folks...kudos to dom, however, who did manage to muster up the word "skankonia"

-coach and broach

"i love twigs...they're like little tiny trees."

-broach's ladybroach

ladies and gentlemen, let us commemorate the birthing day of one sir ian aka "crazy bill" by being very crazy and masturbating frequently

happy birthday ur gift is on the way and ur guaranteed to love it

-coach and broach

"coach is on the online!"

-coach

from here on in we will have a daily, which will most likely turn iinto a weekly, roast. what we will do is simply post the name of a person we know and will allow for everyone to post whatever comments, tidbits, or stories about that person. COACH AND BROACH crew is in no way responsible for anyone's comments. Inevitably, we will start with:
MICHELL PELLICER
no need to be nice.

-coach and broach

well it all makes sense. my chem teacher is gay and thats why every time i try to do some of his fuckin chem work i feel like im getting fucked in the ass. so clear now.

-broach

I'm thinking balls are to men, what purses are to women. It's just a little bag but we'd feel naked in public without it.
-j me8593

-coach and broach

new smitty column

-coach and croach

pat: papers are the worst invention...since paper

-coach and broach

Auto response from Johnnyboy213 (2:21:23 AM): It seems ol' Paris Hilton has been in the news a lot lately. If you wanna give her a call and maybe chat some, here's her cell phone number: 310-990-7444

-coach and broach

winfights update =)

-coach and broach

ok so its been a week and i've only seen revolutions twice...i know i know, im ashamed...

-coach

i think its a little sad that me and mike are making comments for our own posts-i promise we wouldnt if you fuckers did every once in a while. (ill give you 8 monies)

-broach

coach: how good is monday night football when you don't have schools the next day?

broach: supreme.

-yall know who we fuckin be

late.

=;ate

note to self: get taqueria for pantry
<)={ '

edit: as well as girlfriend for fort
>=)

-coach

smitty quote of the millenium:
"i taped two mach3 blades together. now i have a mach6. twice the shaving power, half the time. my genius continues to reign unchecked."

check out the newest column if you haven't...and if you have...check it out again

-coach and broach

hey, did you know the best thing about college? MIAMI. im here and im loving every goddam second. and balls.

-brooach

kids, don't forget to drink your milk and eat your smitty columns...new one today =)

-coach and broach

so theres an amazing thing and a horrible thing about living in the freezing ass cold, and ironically theyre quite related. You know damn well that theres few things cooler than seeing ur breath outside. amazing right? WRONG!!! this awesome little feature of the north comes with horrible consequences. ive honestly caused myself to slightly hyperventilate because im constantly breathing out, trying to see my breath (and marvel at its amazingness). NOw eventhough this hyperventilation has happened on more than six occasions, i still think seeing ur breath is well worth the probable brain damage associated with lack of oxygen to the brain.

-soo lated on an october day and you know this

'-brrrrrroooooaaaccchhhhh guy.

a clean jerk

-coach and broach

not sure if we remembered to post this a few whiles ago but here it is

-coach and broach

1
2
3

vote for me

-coach

perhaps my obsession with berrin's away message is becoming unhealthy but it appears as though it has had a positive effect...she has begun using a smaller font, which is nice to see...however, anyone who uses the phrase "that's me" should be shot in the medula oblongata.

-coach

in commemoration of the 1000 hit milestone, let us celebrate with the adding of chocolate to milk.

-coach and broach

first off, i wanna apologize for not posting for like the past ten years- chem has eaten my life like a goat eats a metal can...or somehting like that. but where was i...oh yes- the custodian story- lets go. It all started on a dreary afternoon (today). theres this guy custodian- spanish(weird, i know)- whose really nice and i try to say hi to him in spanish whenever i see him. today was a huge back fire. so im casually walkin down the hall, i see him and give him the ol "como estas." he replied with "bien gracias." now this is where it usually ends- not today. Apparently he thinks my espanol is better than it is because after saying "bien gracias" he continued with "thhkdkjehallkdlkj lksjdlk jflskdhgyhreydnv" or atleast what sounded like that. So for literally five minutes were trying to break down what he was trying to convey- word for word. Finally, i am able to understand what he was trying to tell me-and boy im glad i did. It was translated as "I worked in the police building this morning." hmmmm....yeah. awesome. so after a "si, muy bien" on my part, i got the fuck out of there. ultimately, im just glad i was able to be part of "the most worthless conversation in the world." late

-senor broach

ye ye

-coach and broach

ladies and gentlemen, this installment of shut the fuck up berrin is one of the worst yet..

I LOVE YOU DANI BERRIN...YOU ARE AN AMAZING SISTER AND BEST FRIEND...AND I DONT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT YOU! YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS...TRUST ME WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND!

shut the fuck up. ur ruining pink for cute girls everywhere by writing in captial letters.

-coach and broach

guess who's back

helluva find rok

-coach and broach

im still waiting for someone to come out and explain why the good people at abc make john madden and al michaels stand up whenever they take a shot of the commentator's box. is it because they can't get a good angle of them sitting down or is it just to look more "professional." they are never shown sitting down. do they think that no one will notice or are we supposed to believe that they stand the whole time? it makes no sense...cut the charade...we all know that when that camera's not on, john madden is sitting down. the man has done a lot for football, dont get me wrong, but unless you dangle a donut over his head, i see no reason for john madden to willingly stand on his feet for 3 hours.

-coach

http://www.shley.org/pics/05.jpg

edit: did anyone see this picture before it went down?

-coach and broach

today was pretty wack...

-coach

Auto response from A Spec0987 (8:08:47 PM): http://www.zone.ee/rennat/bloodcyber.htm

-coach and broach