so btw my birthday is on saturday...which also happens to be homecoming, so it should be both wild AND crazy...in an effort to thrust myself back into the rhythm of posting i may do some kind of sportsguy-style journal/picture log throughout the day as it should be a fun time

just giving yall a heads up to let u know we're gonna be posting more regularly around here

-coach

today i was reacquainted with one of the most puzzling and uncomfortable marvels of the human body, relief of which has thus far proven a fruitless effort by modern science. the rare gastrointestinal dichotomy of the hungry deuce...youre feeling the effects of not eating breakfast 5 hours ago, but you also know a formidable encounter with the porcelain throne is one the way, so youre caught in this strange state of trying to keep part of your body relaxed, while keeping other *ahem* closely related parts clenched in defensive position...finally you are out of class...but what to do first? i suppose the obvious answer is to clean the pipes, you cant very well enjoy your meal otherwise, but while it is the only option, its no walk in the park...the inherent problem is theres nothing in the stomach, moving the natural flow along...you're working with nothing but voluntary intestinal peristalsis here folks, and that isnt the more luxurious manner of business most of us have become accustom to...the result is often an sloppy, laborous, and drawn-out debachle that is wholly unsatisfying...good thing you've got an order of chili cheese nachos and a buffalo chicken sandwhich to help things move along smoother next time.

-le coach

don't you go dyin on me
-du ken


-coachandbroach

crazy folks

-pat

-coachandbroach

this is nice

-compliments of brazilian dani

-the jones

Auto response from CAROL290 (3:08:41 PM):
dear bulemic girl down the hall,
you are stupid. go to the gym. dont puke. it makes my bathroom gross.
love,
skinny girl who manages to stay that way while simultaneously being healthy (its a beautiful thing. you should try it. do it, do it)

-coachandbroach

so today on my plane trip back to school i committed one of the most faux of all pauxs...in fact it was so off putting that i had to ask a college professor what word to use to describe it to you...so i fell asleep, as i tend to do, and for whatever reason found myself dreaming that my mouth was bleeding...so im dreaming that im spitting all this blood out over and over...eventually i awoke to find my chin, neck, chest and stomach completely covered in drool to the point that i was cold due to my wet shirt...it was pretty gross and if i hadnt fallen back to sleep immediately, i would have probably been pretty embarrassed

-coach

Golapagos (2:58:42 AM): we can officially be in our new rooms

iVeRs17872 (2:58:46 AM): yup

Golapagos (2:58:47 AM): and they'll really be our rooms

iVeRs17872 (2:58:51 AM): YEA they will

Golapagos (2:58:56 AM): so i'll be sleepin in my OWN bed

Golapagos (2:58:57 AM): instead of yours

iVeRs17872 (2:59:02 AM): ewww

iVeRs17872 (2:59:05 AM): im sleepin in ur beeed

Golapagos (2:59:09 AM): and I'll stop getting that god damn jew mail

iVeRs17872 (2:59:17 AM): yea/

iVeRs17872 (2:59:22 AM): I got this hot sister mail all the time

Golapagos (2:59:26 AM): good one

so for some reason im a basketball coach. despite being the JCC league, id still say im somewhat underqualified. anywho, today we got our first win, and fittingly, i got my first technical. my goal is to average one every two games and two ejections on the year...root for me

-jones

Sign up for smitty emails from around the world. You know you want to. Not that I can guarantee anything good.


asmitty-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

-smizza

just in case you ever needed to get your bearings straight

-haoeoearoearnds

-coach

Borat soundboard

Wa wa we wa

my new favorite sex move(brought to my attn by dom):
The Ashe Wednesday: When you are done having anal sex with a girl, you whip it out of her ass, spin her around & slap it on her forhead leaving a brown mark right in the middle.

too good
-the jones

i hate cats. im definitely a dog person. i dont understand why the fuck anyone would like cats in this world when there are dogs. dogs give companionship and are loyal. a cat licks itself and seems like its always planning your demise. ok...ill admit...maybe one in every 47 cats are ok...but thats only cuz THEY ACT LIKE MOTHERFUCKING DOGSS!!! save the fucking time and get a dog. dumb fucker

-the jones, who is back in action (from the south)

-Captain Smee

Looks like you all could use at least something to help pass the time....

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators
during the 2004 Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw
her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from
personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother
and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries,and even some deaths
in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can
expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't
like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the
IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've
got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is
that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses
them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"


-"about to get really really wet in Miami" Smitty