THIS is from the, in my opinion, best Saved By The Bells of all time when Ms. Spano cant handle the stresses of high school life and is sucked in by the lure of caffeine pills.

-CB

It's a Festivus miracle!

FRANK: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reach for the last one they had - but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!

KRAMER: What happened to the doll?

FRANK: It was destroyed. But out of that, a new holiday was born. "A Festivus for the rest of us!"

KRAMER: That musta been some kind of doll.

FRANK: She was.

smits

so my life is a lot like larry david's. check this: i throw a snowball at j's arse last night and it pokes a solar flare into his phones lcd. then tonight he loses his phone at the dave concert. how responsible am i in retrospect? something to think about.

-coach

im realy soiber

live jines

I am away from my computer right now. is not a valid away message. Discuss.

-about to be really really ridiculously drunk smitty

so as is generally the case, your coachiness is being anally raped by the universe..my parents have told me that my passport still hasnt arrived at the house, without it i will be unable to go to paris with my family over christmas..but that might be a moot point nyway, since i would be unable to fly to miami from boston without my id, which was left at a club last saturday..and why havent i gotten it back yet, you ask? because i cant get any of the fucking meatheads that work at their shitty little "we close at 2am" club to tell me they have it.

at the same time, tufts decided to do away with the reading period this year. or at least, shorten it to a friday - tuesday affair. wicked awesome. especially since my finals are distributed nicely - 2 on wednesday, 2 on thursday.

bitterly yours,
-coach

did i do that?


-C&B

today while i was enjoying my frosted flakes i was just wondering: who had the grrreat idea that "if i add milk to my corn, i could make a great breakfast!" either way i take my hat off.

-jonesy

-smitty on day 15 of finals. someone just end this.

whenever im in the computer lab for some reason i always pretend that i can type super fast like making a lot of noise and moving my fingers everywhere so that the person next to me has to look over and i get embarrassed cuz its not funny and smile and then do it again the next time. the end

-leon mandlerwitzwitz

i was having another brilliant thought and thought i would share it. if i were some crazy scientist dude and just discovered some new crazy disease, i definitely would NOT name it after myself. like Dr. John Down, discovered and named Down's syndrom. terrible choice. in fact, it would be soo much better to name it after someone or something you hate. like if i had discovered Down's syndrom i would have named it like "FSU Syndrom" or "Good Charlotte Syndrom." hell yes i would.

-Dr. Jones

so as i stepped outside yesterday at 8:00 AM into the 20 degree air, right before my balls raced into the safety of my warm body, i had a thought. I CAN NOT WAIT FOR GLOBAL WARMING. seriously, fuck the ice caps or whatever, the people who argue that global warming is bad definitely must not live in medford mass, or anywhere the likes. its fucking brutal. i think adding 10 sweet degrees would be great for everyone

-jones

pretty fantastic fauxmmercial by the writers/actors from conan

-coach

personally i think this is just another problem with society that can be traced back to allowing women in the workplace, and let me tell you why. without their mothers at home to love and care for them, kids do nothing but sniff glue and watch pokemon all day. this in turn makes them dumber. remember everytime you watched a tv show about a kid who's dad was a cold workoholic who was always too stressed about the stock market to throw the ol' ball around? well imagine if mom is like that too! at what point does little johnny get to sit down with mom and pop and throw a record on and let the good times roll? i'll tell you when: never. left to their own devices, kids these days do nothing more than drink what they find under the sink and then sit down and trip out with some pokemon. at that point, the tv can sell them anything. and rap music is the victim here, falling prey to temptation time and time again. it seems its just too damn easy for these fuckers to convince these kids to buy the album, so they go ahead and do it. in fact, as far as i know, all you have to do is say you're the richest rapper 3 times, spin your necklace, and it will come true..and it doesnt even have to rhyme.

also mtv is failing us all, and has to start playing music again. and by music i mean music, not the fucking black eyed fucks. we need to go back to our roots, and start remembering the guys who started this rap thing like run-dmc, krs-one, nwa, dre and snoop, 2pac and biggie, so we can forget about the guys that are killing it.

-coach

so im not sure how i let this one get by for so long. i believe we can single handedly give credit for the downfall of rap/hip-hop to fergie and the black eyed peas for the treachery titled "my humps."

They say I’m really sexy,
The boys they wanna sex me.
They always standing next to me,
Always dancing next to me,
Tryin’ a feel my hump, hump.
Lookin’ at my lump, lump.

Are these people serious? and more importantly, are the people who leave this song playing when it comes on the radio serious? anywho, we would also give credit if you answered "laffy taffy" as the cause of the downfall.

just curious, can people comment on their thoughts of why rap and hip-hop have gotten almost ridiculous?

-jones

ASmitty97 (1:49:15 AM): this is cool: find all the bands

i am consumed by this picture, when in reality i should be asleep..i have a long day of drinking and shaking my ass and drinking ahead

-coach

if i got 14 spins, does that make me gay?

-jonesy

am i the only person that has good typing days and bad typing days? i mean like one time i can be a flawless typesman and other days i fuck up all the time. does this happen to other humans?

-jonesbro

i think its safe to say i was fucked up last night. i woke up this morning at the crack of noon with pretzel crumbs and salt crystals embedded in my back and in my hair. apparently i passesd out while eating a bag of pretzels and throughout the course of the night it emptied all over my bed. of course, all my tossing and turning created a wonderful puree of pretzels crumbs all over my sheets and on the floor. pretty good.

-Sir Leon Mandler III

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

rocking so hard right now

that's bullshit

-from hoaerndz

-coach and broach

Auto response from krontonsoup (3:58:05 AM): haha to whoever bet i couldnt stick 4 fingers in my butt

-coach and broach

whats the most exreme sporting accomplishment one can achieve? it has to be climbing mount everest. hands down. of course you have the freezing temperatures, the screaming wind, the crazy weather changes, the blizzards, the threat of hypothermia and hypoxia, frostbite, and ultimately death, but these are not what makes this ascent the greatest achievement. a lot of people dont think about the worst part. pooping. ive done some reading up on the subject and you must actually zip down and de-clothe to take a shit. that means your bare ass and sweet sack is exposed to a 50 below chill worsened by a freezing draft that will undoubtedly find its way up through your asshole and straight into your soul. i couldnt think of anything worse. i think we all need to have a greater appreciation for the feat these people are accomplishing.

-jones