in decision time, i ask that we join together in a bipartisan union to pay respects by commemorating some of history's real american heroes

http://www.ksilebo.com/realamerican/

-coach

so apparently this team called the "red sox" won a little local baseball tournament known as the "world series" and have become "world champions" for the "first time" in "86 years"

thats kinda cool.
if i carried my camera on me like im supposed to you would be seeing some crowded streets, a lot of drunk people, a couple streakers, and a whole bunch of police with helmets

-coach

everything's more intense when eminem says it...

-jones

how do you say "caught being a fake-singing whore whose famous for having nice tits and an even hotter sister?" like this

thanky dom

-JONES

wow this place was going crazy...for all those who were wondering, apparently the reversal of a curse calls for some very organized shouting in front of the president's house, lighting the quad on fire and a great big disappointing lack of boobies

-guy

as some know, the wise, observant, keen, and always impulsive jones bro has coined some clever terms for the good of his fellow man's vocabulary. the following are his two latest noble peace prize nominated terms:

THE MEXICAN DUGOUT:
formerly known as "the dutch oven." when you fart under the covers so that all the gases are trapped, leaving an extremely potent vacuum of ass-gas.

THE MEXICAN SUBMARINE:
when your in the bath tub and you fart and watch that bubble of gas swim towards the surface and then its the most potent fart of life. (if anyone knows how or why this phenomenon occurs, or would like to make an attempt at cracking one of life's most stumpalizing puzzles, please post under comments)

-the jonesiest bro

rush delivery available

cmon by THIS CD!! (voice implied by italics)

-coach

so this is less funnny than craziest thing ever: im flying to DC to visit carow and i woke up real early to catch this 7 oclock plane. so im sleeping on the plane when im woken up by a voice blasting over the intercom "ARE THERE ANY DOCTORS ON THE PLANE, WE HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY!" so that wakes my ass up. turns out some guy went into cardiac arrest and his heart actually stopped for 30 seconds. they had to break out the defibulizersrerers and shock this guy in the back of the plane. of course im sitting in the second to last row. so as soon as we land paramedics storm the plane and take this guy out on a stretcher to the hospital. but im a alive so thats cool.

jones

Twas the night before the playoffs and all through the town,
All the Yankee fans were dancin around like a bunch of coked up clowns.
The assholes in pinstripes were gearing up for the playoff run,
but when those bitches get swept, now THAT will be FUN.
Kevin Brown punches walls, and Shefield his wife,
Where's Karim Garcia you ask? He's doing 25 to life.
Now onto A-Rod, he's the best there is right?
Too bad he's a punk who got bitched in a fight.
If Mariano comes in in the ninth a comeback is hard,
Unless your the Red Sox and you just take him 'Yad.
I can't forget Moose, Jorge and Torre,
Hideki Matsui what the fuck is your story?
let's all make some noise...
THE YANKEES SUCK,

from the eric cuz

-FUCK THE YANKEES

coach's birthday update number 2

well i guess the whole journal thing doesnt really work if you get too lated to even remember that a chronological series of events even took place...needless to say i forgot to take any pictures but shit if you havent seen me drinking beer yet, i dont know why youre reading my blog to begin with...the weekend was real fun, especially with my lady here to both clean and decorate my room, and assuming i make it through this week, theres more light at the end of the tunnel in the form of columbus day...all in all, birthday blog: failure...birthday itself: success

-coach

Jones' coaching update NUMBER 2

so i said that i wanted to get an average og one technical every two games. well today, although it wasnt me, it was another mandler. so weve just gone on a 9-0 run to come within two points of the numb 1 team. we've been getting fucked on bs calls all game and ive already been warned for yelling at the ref. so theres another horrible call and im about to flip out when i hear my little brother eli yell "thats the worst call ever." the assfuck ref walks up to him and says "you wanna see a worse call?" and slaps him with a technical. eli proceeds to go up to him and scream "FUCK YOU" in his face. clearly he was then ejected and suspended for one game. that a go little bro. even though they ended uip getting 6 free throws and thus going up 8 and taking us out of the game- i still gotta respect the little guy

JONES

10:30 wake up and shower

10:55 first birthday beer

11:00 breakfast

11:30 commence official beer drinkings to tunes including coolio and tbe boss

-birthday face