find out how shitfaced you are!

this may have to become a coach and broach staple by the time the weekend comes around

-coach and broach

one thing that kinda gets on my nerves is when girls describe juan torres as "hilarious" or tell me about this time they were talking to him and "oh my god, he's so funny." now, don't get me wrong i don't have anything against the guy whether he's gay or not (ur not fooling anyone btw), but he seems to have this really frustrating effect on girls, whereby they think he's the funniest guy on the planet. lemme let you guys in on a secret: what's actually happening is simply that the guy is so ridiculously flamboyant that you can't help but be brought to uncontrollable laughter.

just to clarify.

-coach

a lifelong mystery has been solved...it appears that i am more lazy than i am a dork as, i wouldn't get dressed and walk across the quad to watch revolutions

speaking of lazy, tonights the night im gonna have to stop procrastinating and do this damn paper, in which i have no idea what to write, or how that "no idea" is gonna stretch itself across 5 pages

-coach

new smitty column

-coach and broach

if they took you to anna's taqcueria i would have applied early decision.

-coachey mcburritoface

im gonna have to give a fuck you to the cock who invented the button fly zipper...you unlazy, selfish, piece of shit...eat my ass sir.

-jones

we've said it before and we'll say it again
-othermike

-coach and broach

gayness

-coach and broach

thing that pissed me off today: people who call you, then dont answer after you miss the call and hit em right back
thing that weirded me out the other day: being called "youngblood" by a homeless

-coach

nice one matt

-coach and broach

first one to finish this old commerial song gets 8 blumpkins:
"it wiggles and jiggles and feels so realllll........."

get there....

-jonesy

anyone else addicted to nfl street? i bought it before coming back to school and have played pretty much nonstop..
i know everyone played blitz back in the day...this is way better

-coach

you know it

-coach and broach

so a couple of alleged "fans" called us last night at 430 and 530. that was awesome, lemme tell you. if this was someone fucking with us, i'll say "good one" but fucking with my sleep is very unappreciated. that said, if this was, in fact, a couple of "fans" stranded at a gas station in everrett i'll start by saying that it should be understood that you'll have to wait until we're actually famous to be calling pathetically at 430 only to be hung up on. furthermore, if your friends ditched you, what makes you think that we want to come pick you up..

id have to say flow handled it well

"get me a reeses peanut butter cup and a coke, i'll be there in 10 minutes"
*unplugs phone and returns to sleep

=\

carmen electra: so we're getting a lap dance from this beautiful blonde...and it was cool u know, its our bachelor/bachelorette party, and we're gettin a lap dance and dave just farts. i mean he lets one rip and it smelled horrendous.
dave: *chuckles* the music was loud, no one could hear it...*laughs*

rock on, rock man

-coach and broach

were gonna apologize for the lack of posting in the past few days. it can probably be attributed to the consumption of 90 beers, two handles of captain, and about a quarter of some other stuff. in other words we were quite lated to the face.

-C&B

most punches in the face:
1) chris rix
2) tom brady
3)aarn carter
4)jessi berrin
5) dane disuza
6) andrew mcqeer-e (well eventhough he gets more head)
7) balls

-kjshdfkshd

a great one from nikki

-coach and broach

the bet has been made. $500. me verses seth. it is this:
does byron leftwich make 3 pro bowls before the end of his career?
Jones says yes---seth says no
only time will telllllllll

-broach

phat as alex (8:24:56 PM): I just had the anna's
lil dosman (8:25:11 PM): nice
lil dosman (8:25:13 PM): im goin in like an hour
phat as alex (8:25:22 PM): hah
phat as alex (8:25:28 PM): how often do you go?
lil dosman (8:25:40 PM): on weekend like 2-3
lil dosman (8:25:47 PM): alwasy bring a burrito back
lil dosman (8:26:00 PM): for late night pleasure
phat as alex (8:27:10 PM): ok
phat as alex (8:27:16 PM): :aha
phat as alex (8:27:22 PM): I was bringing one back
phat as alex (8:27:27 PM): and I ate it
phat as alex (8:27:33 PM): on the way back

we weren't lying its that fuckin good

-coach and broach

courtesy de muffy

-coach and broach

compliments of sylvia raskin...i swear to god

-the committee

this is phenomenal- compliments of cuh...

-C&B

as has been the patter for the past few years, the dolphins appear to be ignoring the fact that the problem with the team is its fucking quaterback(s)

the dolphins have expressed interest in terrell owens.
"if he complained about jeff garcia, what's he gonna have to say about jay fiedler?!" - jay marriotti

-coach

another mathematical application:

high goldberg ≥ drunk goldberg ≥ sober goldberg

this inequality, as in most, is an expression of value.

-broach

well im in the process of developing callouses (no idea if thats even close to the spelling) on my thumbs due to nintendo play. i feel it is just upon the horizon when my thumbs will be completely calloused over, for it is only until then will i earn the gold plated title of a...true gamer.

-broachy jones

there comes a time in every man's life when he must say "i have a test tomorrow," and then take the shrink wrap off his book

-coach

as much as i dont want to, i have to eat the burrito in the fridge, lest it turn severely diarretic tomorrie

oh, who am i kidding im gonna enjoy every minute of it, even if i pay dearly for it tomorrow...hell i dont like going to class that much anyway

-coach

you know the kids in the room smoke pot when u see this in the mailroom

4 pounds of chippy goodness

-coach and broach

85% of the population can curl their tongue into a "u."

no, i didn't learn that in sex class

-coach

id like to thank alain for finding this video of me, back when i had a fruity earring and was older than i am now.

-coach

smit-rocka-smooth-skin

-coach and broach

new smitty column

-coach and broach

bubblewrap game, found by billy

-coach and broach

what the fuck were pogs? i mean i know they were fucking awesome and stuff, but really, what the fuck were they and where the fuck did they come from? all i know is that my slammer could take out yours. bitch.

-jones bro

ive recently learned that you can apply math to every day life. take this equation for example:
consumption of 1 burrito ≥ 2 diharreahs before 10:15 am

-jones

so my ipod decided to stop working for no reason at all. and to make things even better its damn near impossible to find what u need on the fucking apple website.

go ahead and see how long it takes you to figure out how to request a repair and maybe i'll stop my bitching

-coach

im gonna have to say cocoa krispies is the most underrated cereal. let us not forget the end product of this morning delicacy is CHOCOLATE FUCKING MILK!! soo good...

-broach

my girlfriend please, i really want my girlfriend

-baby jones

and here we go again(on our own)

-goin down the only road we've ever known

i told you were fuckin famous...

-the juicers

this site is amazing
play a few times

-you are coach and broach from http://coachandbroach.blogspot.com!

is there really a need for a sneeze guard? i mean somtimes i just wanna sneez on it on purpose just to make use.

-broach

sounds like a winner

-cowch

maurice clarett is officailly the biggest cock-consumer in the entire world...not to mention the rediculousness found in the fact that a female judge decided FOOTBALL's future. what the fuck is going on? i hope ray lewis makes him his leisure time bitch. gay.

-briggs mcjones

i thought it was just going to be a normal, boring, sleepy walk back from chemistry until i saw a squirrel eating a cupcake in a tree. as you can imagine, my day is now awesome.

-broach

no i dont have a ridiculous mullet, but here are more 40hands pics!

-coach

go0!
-othermike

-c&b

yay, my old philosophy teacher, who fell on the ice in december and had a hip replacement decided not to get out of bed today! no class! =D

cmon, that's not as bad as the time leon did a dance when our physics teacher didnt come in, only to find about a week later that he ended up dying.

-coach

we all remember brainstorming with ms. greenberg back in the day, dont we?


WEATHER
------------
ME

*cough* -coach *sniff*

new smitty column
all columns

-coach and broach

fuck you soda machine for stealing my dollar...guess im goin another day without laundering

-coach

so i got a nice little nose bleed this morning...i either gotta slow down on the coke, or more likey need to slow down on the rampant nose picking.

-broach mcjones

cbs, instead of apologizing and remaining a non-titty network, i suggest you take advantage of this debachle and reinvent yourselves... start with a new logo

thank you for your time, make checks payable to coach and broach inc.

-coach

ridiculous...although they pale in comparison to my lifelong masterpiece, "square boobies"

-coach

wow
-pat

-coachandbroachandpatriotsaregay

let the games begin
hows that taste
life as a 40hands

more pictures soon

-coach and broach

fuck the patriots

-broach

that was supposed to be my superbowl burrito...
im gonna hate myself in the morning

-coach

our attempt at mike-proofing the pantry with a top of the line anti-munchie defense system

-coach and broach

edward fortyhands: an overall success

pictures in a littler

-coach and broach