oh really fool? really?! side kick!

-coach and broach

well today i might say that i had my best college experience thus far. sadly, it was with five 14 year old kids. i hear this group of boys outside my window; they were riding around on theyre bikes screaming in there akward in between voices. if anyone has seen our dorm, its surrounded by somewhat of a moat, about 10-15 ft deep. so of course i had to take advantage of these 14 year olds and this 12 foot drop. i told one of the kids i would pay him 20 bucks if he jumped off the ledge on his bike. so this fourteen year old, pressured by an elder asshole (yours truly), made the jump. amazing to say the least. of course his front wheel went straight into the ground, throwing him over the handle bars and his head STRAIGHT into the ground. while his friends were yelling "call an ambulance," me and mike were laughing our asses off. the kid was fine, just with a huge welt on his head and dirt all over his body. once he got up and felt his head, he asked "what am i gonna tell my mom?" (in classic 14 year old fashion). so that was that. after i told the fat one of the group that i would give him 3 oreos if he pissed on his friends bike. he obliged. so did one of the others. pissed all over the bike. a great day to say the least.

-c&B

what the fuck is a cranberry? i mean, has anyone ever seen one?

jones

note: the following is a story that dom read, not actually experienced.

d0mmm (1:17:09 AM): Ok so yesterday was my cheat day. Probably put away about 8k cals including a lot of alcohol last night. Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night. She's 19, so still a little on the immature side, but im only 21 so its all good. Anyway i've talked to this girl a few times before, and to make a long story short I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed, didnt bang her, but did pretty much everything else.

d0mmm (1:17:19 AM): So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit in my life. All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers. I must have passed out about 10min after she did around 3am. I wake up at about 8am to piss and I find myself covered in shit.

d0mmm (1:17:25 AM): Im thinking WTF, and what happened was I shit myself when I was sleeping. It was all over the bed, sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world. She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of ther hammies. I get dressed and leave LOL This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. Anyway, im really gonna have to avoid her and I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

-coachandbroach

nutri-grain bars...now apparently in crack flavor
-i stole this from this guy will that doesnt even know about this site

-coach

more movies with vince vaughn and ben stiller does a body good

link appears courtesy of smittyco.

-coach and broach

hahaha
-thanks rebeccy

-C&B

john kerry, if your listening, please hear my words of wisdom before bush does. instead of spending your money campaigning with ads and commercials, i have a way that will guarantee victory. promise everyone who votes for you a corndog. if i went to the voting booth with intent on voting for bush, and was offered a corn dog, i would absolutely change my vote. worst comes to worst, you could atleast get the bum vote.

-jones

well i've been smited once again, this time by the almighty hand of american airlines...not only was i not initially given a seat on the oversold flight, but my bag didnt come to boston with all my clothes, playstation, and honestly above all else, my fucking blanket. i mean, a blanket is a pretty important necessity when its 30 degrees outside. our room is in the corner of the building, so my bed is directly against an exterior wall that tends to get quite cold.

to the crazed fan who stole my bag, you've won this battle...there is more than likely some hair on those clothes which can be used to make a personal clone, but so help me god i will get my blanket back.

now, if you'll excuse me i must put on a sweater and cuddle up with the ninja turtle futon-sheet, which is really more of a tablecloth than a bedsheet, with the hopes that my shit will turn up tomorrow

-fuck you

pwahaaa!
-alex

-coach and broach

if ur gonna get one, it might as well be this
-laurenmeister

-coach and broach

great

-coach and broach

been recording these two days, which is real cool...also a lot of nfl street into the wee hours of the early mourn. on a side note, how amazing is big league chew...i swear i almost shit myself (almost?!) when flizzle brought a pack into the studio...and i know it causes mouth cancer and all, but all the major leaguers do it...and on top of it all its like an orgasm of flavor in your mouth, that lasts for 30 seconds...for those of you who say that 30 seconds is too short, i defy you to produce an orgasm in my mouth that lasts longer than that

-coach

DiStUrBeDgUrL548 (6:31:17 AM): OU WILL DIE FROM AN EXORCIST IF U DONT SEND THIS TO 20 PEOPLE, EITHER MY EMAIL OR AIM. THIS IS NOT A JOKE. THIS WAS ISSUED FROM THE UNITED STATES ARMY. DO THIS OR DIE.

-coach and broach

man, the human sexual behavior textbook is really great sometimes

"under laboratory conditions, involving manual stimulation by a female laboratory worker..."

i'll take one.
make it two.

-coach

folks, today berrin has just about out done herself, as far as lameness goes

Auto Response from JEB918: Who said beer won't make ya smarter...it made BUD WEISER! (thanks ash)

st. patrick would be spinning in his grave

-coach and broach

im gonna have to say that its good publicity when there is a full page article on the secnond page of your school newspaper about your band. thats right- a ful page paper with huge picture of the band. thanks matty b.

-coachy and a broachy

up at 5:15 this morning so my focusin would be active during my 7:00 chem test. i believe i need a lot of luck going into any chem test so undoubtedly i put on my donkey punch hat, my lucky socks, and, i swear to god, i washed my hair. and then i failed.

-jonesss

hit me with your best shot
(late)

-coach and broach

"and the mother of the year award goes to......melissa rowland!"
-pat

-coach and broach