remember A.O.hell? that shit was awesome. to have the power to kick anyone off of aol was probably the coolest thing of all time. i bet blake ross invented that shit...

-lonnie

lonnie's sickness alert level has just been raised to yellowish-green.

-poor poor jonesy

and i thought 21 beers over the course of a whole day would be impressive

from jarjare

-C@B

yeah so apparently my mother never bestowed the knowledge of how to change a supersaturated vacuum bag. This intelligence void allowed for this process to go less than swimmingly. Concluded in a cartoon-esque explosion of dust in one Lonnie Jones' face. yum.

-Fuck

andy milonakis is amazing...his ADDness outshines everyone i can think of.

-C&B

while studying for various economics tests, i came across this in a buddy's aim profile. a graph, not of cost curves and profit margins, but an important model for the functions of society nonetheless.

-coach

HEARETH MY DECREE:
i move to abolish single stuffed oreos. well maybe not abolish them. but the default oreo should undoubtedly be double stuffed. i think that we should only have to choose from either double stuffed or quadruple stuffed in the cookie aisle. anyone who prefers single to double is obvioulsy half as awesome.

-Jonesy

well here you have it folks...for almost a year now, unbeknownst to all of us, the cookie monster has been undergoing a health transformation. even the song "c is for cookie," has been CLIAAAPPED and replaced by the new "cookie is a sometime food." utter bullshit. im glad that rachel brought this blasphemy to my attention so that i could...well, whine about it i guess. GODDAMN!

read an article about it here:
c is for cockass

-coach

representing the ol Tufts University. WHAT NOW

-C&B

good news maybe now people can sue a fast food franchise for giving them something they didn't ask for.

haeoaornds

-coachandbroach

what do you get when you cover a pile of cottage cheese with a floral bedsheet?

-Jones

sorry

public finance homework: farmer jones produces honey using bees. his marginal cost curve is (whatever). farmer smith produces apples from his orchard. his marginal cost curve is (whatever).

j: hey, thats you (leon) and jared (smith).

coach: do farmers call each other by that title? like doctors?

jones: like do you send an invitation to farmer and mrs. jones?

coach: "well, mister jones.."
"excuse me, i didn't spend the last 45 years NOT going to school to be called 'mister' thank you very much."

-coach and broach

away message from JPOGMD4788:

My favorite day of the yr..the post Valentines Day fallout. Its a hilarious day and ill tell u why. There is such a dichotomy in the female community today. On 1 side u have the girls who had dates or boyfriends, and these girls actually think now bc their guys were all nice and lovey to them and romantic for 1 night that their boyfriends actually like them haha.On the other side u have the girls who were too pathetic to even be able to milk a guy into taking them out and catering to them and they are all bitter today. Its interesting to see the differences in these 2 groups of hos and u can tell right away bc some girls r all giddy today and others are soo depressed. My question for u all out there tho is this: Which group of girls is more pathetic and stupid? The girls who are being tricked by their dates/bfs or the ones who couldnt even get tricked?? Its an interesting discussion and the moral is all girls are sooo dumb. I love having a penis.



(The feelings and messages expressed in this presentation are in no way sponsored by or affiliated with The Coach & Broach network. All correspondence pertaining to the prior issue should be filed elsewhere. Nevertheless, C&B co. will take full responsibility for the distribution of this hilarity)

cheers to having a penis!

-C&B

Alright Miam Hurricanes!!! Maybe we should just stick to football.

from the jare-jare files

-C&B

As a jew, im frankly disgusted at my religion. How could, after all this time, they keep one of the greatest culinary secrets from me. im talking ham here people...honey baked. Since coach's mom sent a monster leg of honey baked hammy goodness to the house, my life has been changed. Turkey is a thing of the past and my eyes are fixed on the future: me and ham, ham and me. It's the last thing on my mind when i lie down and the first thing when i rise up. Granted im nauseaseous (obviously no clue how to spell that)for a good portion of every day since that package arrived, but i couldnt ask for a better mate this valentime's day. i love ham. i love ham. i love ham. and ham. this is probably worse than my snood addiction.


-Jones

For those who havent seen this yet, THIS is the future salvation for the Canes football program. and HERE are a couple more pictures of the man-child when he was 15 fucking years old. he is now a junior and im wet in aspiration just waiting for him to be in a canes jersey.

thx trenchy

-C&B

so did anyone know that the Captain Planet theme song was written and copyrighted by Phil Collins? i find that amazing...i mean that i could be in the dark about such an achievement that was such a big part of my youth. The Power is Yours!

-jones