well, on saturday night we witnessed first hand the utter power and overwhelming ability of jones's kavorka when some drunk bitch was inexplicably and uncontrollably thrust head-first into a fit of whoredom, followed closely by a fit of rage, when it became increasingly clear that he wanted nothing to do with her, and that she had made a complete and total skank out of herself

Jones here: so we were all just chilling in max and matts room- doing a J or somesing when this drunk chick walks into the room and straddles me. im like "wtf mate? if you werent a puke face this would funs." but she was. so she keeps trying to grab my glasses and i says "nos...you cannot has them." so then she jumps on top of me again and i yell in front of a room of about 10 "OH MY GOD this girl just ripped the dirtiest fart on me...everyone laughs at her face...i run to the bathroom and bring her back some T.P. at this point she decides she doth not like me. she then attempts to punch me in the face. several times. it then carries on outside the room where i decide to play with her a little bit more- its A.D.D. time. so push comes to shuv and somehow the mangina comes out and everyones having a great time except for whorey mcfuckerson. all in all it was HI-LA-REE-US.

-coach and Broach