me and the big brother talking about The Juice's new music thinger that we're a part of- called myspace.com. it allows you to view the people who have become your friends:

NateDoggsz: some real ugly girls on there
LonnieJonesBro: oh yeah
NateDoggsz: haha
LonnieJonesBro: but its like mining- you have to sift through a shitload of dirt to find the gold
NateDoggsz: im sifting right now

-the jones

ps we're gonna try and start getting back on track with the postings- sorry for all you out there who were in withdrawal for so long

i thought this(from nikki) was pretty awesome

-coach

id just like to let everyone know that im going to annas now.

-this guy

im really glad im not on that show laguna beach. last night i had a dream that i was, and the whole episode was about that i had gotten real drunk and took a shit on this girl's carpet. no reality shows for the jonesbro

-jonesypones

"i'm a level 7 vegan. i dont eat anything that casts a shadow."

today was host to a particular monstrosity i was unsure how to cope with...as im walking up the hill to go to class in the snow, some guy standing there trying to pass out...as he put it "'why vegan?' pamphlet"s. i had to hold myself back from spitting in his face for trying to convert me...i mean its like trying to convice me to be gay...not that this is a knock on people of either gay or vegan descent, but in both situations you're trying to convince me to give up something i really enjoy and replace it with something else, that, of which i would really prefer as little as possible...

all praise be to the nuge

-coach

so here i am, layin back in the cut ready to do some music homework while watching a little saved by the bizzy, when i am abhorred by the title screen with which i am presented:

SAVED BY THE BELL
HAWAIIAN STYLE

fuck that. give me classics, malibu sands, maybe even a little good morning miss bliss, but NO new class, NO college years, and certainly NO hawaiian trip that somehow brings mr. belding 2000 miles away from bayside into a coincidental run in with the group as principal association tour guide...thats just ridiculous

also, the fact that the actors are now easily over 20, and there is no laugh track makes the poor theatrical performances impossible to cover up

also irritating is the fact that as disappointed as i am, i'm still going to be distracted from my work by this monstrosity

-disgusted coach

too good. go canes
from the big natedog

0jones

night before halloween in miami:

its me (semi-sober), domm (semi-sober), and goldbeargo (shwasted) in the car waiting in line for taco bell. goldbeargo is fading in and out of conciousness. all they have left is the cheesy gordita crunch.

DOMM: "im gonna have to go with two."
JONES: "Count me in for one, and im sure goldberg will want two"
GOLDBEARGO(wakes up and says): "Better make it an even seven"

amazing considering this is the guy who passed out standing up leaning against a palm tree about 30 mins before.

JONES

in decision time, i ask that we join together in a bipartisan union to pay respects by commemorating some of history's real american heroes

http://www.ksilebo.com/realamerican/

-coach

so apparently this team called the "red sox" won a little local baseball tournament known as the "world series" and have become "world champions" for the "first time" in "86 years"

thats kinda cool.
if i carried my camera on me like im supposed to you would be seeing some crowded streets, a lot of drunk people, a couple streakers, and a whole bunch of police with helmets

-coach

everything's more intense when eminem says it...

-jones

how do you say "caught being a fake-singing whore whose famous for having nice tits and an even hotter sister?" like this

thanky dom

-JONES

wow this place was going crazy...for all those who were wondering, apparently the reversal of a curse calls for some very organized shouting in front of the president's house, lighting the quad on fire and a great big disappointing lack of boobies

-guy

as some know, the wise, observant, keen, and always impulsive jones bro has coined some clever terms for the good of his fellow man's vocabulary. the following are his two latest noble peace prize nominated terms:

THE MEXICAN DUGOUT:
formerly known as "the dutch oven." when you fart under the covers so that all the gases are trapped, leaving an extremely potent vacuum of ass-gas.

THE MEXICAN SUBMARINE:
when your in the bath tub and you fart and watch that bubble of gas swim towards the surface and then its the most potent fart of life. (if anyone knows how or why this phenomenon occurs, or would like to make an attempt at cracking one of life's most stumpalizing puzzles, please post under comments)

-the jonesiest bro

rush delivery available

cmon by THIS CD!! (voice implied by italics)

-coach

so this is less funnny than craziest thing ever: im flying to DC to visit carow and i woke up real early to catch this 7 oclock plane. so im sleeping on the plane when im woken up by a voice blasting over the intercom "ARE THERE ANY DOCTORS ON THE PLANE, WE HAVE A MEDICAL EMERGENCY!" so that wakes my ass up. turns out some guy went into cardiac arrest and his heart actually stopped for 30 seconds. they had to break out the defibulizersrerers and shock this guy in the back of the plane. of course im sitting in the second to last row. so as soon as we land paramedics storm the plane and take this guy out on a stretcher to the hospital. but im a alive so thats cool.

jones

Twas the night before the playoffs and all through the town,
All the Yankee fans were dancin around like a bunch of coked up clowns.
The assholes in pinstripes were gearing up for the playoff run,
but when those bitches get swept, now THAT will be FUN.
Kevin Brown punches walls, and Shefield his wife,
Where's Karim Garcia you ask? He's doing 25 to life.
Now onto A-Rod, he's the best there is right?
Too bad he's a punk who got bitched in a fight.
If Mariano comes in in the ninth a comeback is hard,
Unless your the Red Sox and you just take him 'Yad.
I can't forget Moose, Jorge and Torre,
Hideki Matsui what the fuck is your story?
let's all make some noise...
THE YANKEES SUCK,

from the eric cuz

-FUCK THE YANKEES

coach's birthday update number 2

well i guess the whole journal thing doesnt really work if you get too lated to even remember that a chronological series of events even took place...needless to say i forgot to take any pictures but shit if you havent seen me drinking beer yet, i dont know why youre reading my blog to begin with...the weekend was real fun, especially with my lady here to both clean and decorate my room, and assuming i make it through this week, theres more light at the end of the tunnel in the form of columbus day...all in all, birthday blog: failure...birthday itself: success

-coach

Jones' coaching update NUMBER 2

so i said that i wanted to get an average og one technical every two games. well today, although it wasnt me, it was another mandler. so weve just gone on a 9-0 run to come within two points of the numb 1 team. we've been getting fucked on bs calls all game and ive already been warned for yelling at the ref. so theres another horrible call and im about to flip out when i hear my little brother eli yell "thats the worst call ever." the assfuck ref walks up to him and says "you wanna see a worse call?" and slaps him with a technical. eli proceeds to go up to him and scream "FUCK YOU" in his face. clearly he was then ejected and suspended for one game. that a go little bro. even though they ended uip getting 6 free throws and thus going up 8 and taking us out of the game- i still gotta respect the little guy

JONES

10:30 wake up and shower

10:55 first birthday beer

11:00 breakfast

11:30 commence official beer drinkings to tunes including coolio and tbe boss

-birthday face