so yea i thought these were already on here, but they weren't and there's more of them now. so yea.

-coach

yug shemash, here's the video of borat that was mentioned before.

"some of the cleanest prostitutes in all of central asia"

-coach

Aaorn2286 (12:42:32 PM): http://www.rhfweb.com/mctom.html

Aaorn2286 (12:44:38 PM): Had I been able to get into the US Military after graduation from college, then the US military would have become a good force in the world rather than a dark force, and there would not have been slavery in America of white persons presently, and consequently no slavery of black persons back in time also which was an inverse consequence of Blacks enslaving whites in the future as the whites discovered by remote sensing into the future, causing blacks to be enslaved by whites in the past as means of revenge seeking.

wowza..pretty long, and pretty insane

-coach and broach

nothing says "im an intelligent man who has learned his lesson" like TRU WARIER
thanks jarejare

-C&B

Relating to the recent Ali G Show / Kazakhstan legal proceedings

Sacha Baron Cohen, who plays the spoof Kazakh television reporter in his "Da Ali G Show," incurred the wrath of Kazakhstan's Foreign Ministry this month after appearing as Borat at the annual MTV Europe Music Awards.

He described shooting dogs for fun and said his wife could not leave Kazakhstan as she was a woman. The Foreign Ministry said his behavior was unacceptable and that Cohen might be serving political orders to tarnish Kazakhstan's reputation.

Responding in character as Borat, Cohen, who is Jewish, said: "I like to state, I have no connection with Mr Cohen and fully support my government's position to sue this Jew."

"Since 2003 ... Kazakhstan is as civilized as any other country in the world," he said on his website, www.borat.kz.

"Women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hat and age of consent has been raised to eight years old."

-miserable smitty stuck in the library studying law for the next 2 1/2 weeks

first fire drill of the year:
time: 4:43 AM
weather: 40 degrees and raining
second fire drill of the year:
time: 5:58 AM
weather: 43 degrees and raining

thanks for keeping us on our toes tufts university. i think i can honestly say that i would trade all the past fire drills of my life and all the ones from now on for like a mildly burnt leg later in life. seriously, i think all these fucking worthless firedrills are more inconvenient then a burn would be. (maybe im just saying this because its now 6:09 AM)

-sour jones

Smitty81412 (6:32:54 PM): https://mail.msu.edu/cgi-bin/webmail/login/schwa207.authdaemon/3EAF50BA0AE271B3F1A4A863516EF637/1132613439?folder=INBOX&form=fetch&pos=0&mimeid=1.2

-coach and broach

so anyone ever start washing their hands, and only then realize how bad they had to pee? not that its a problem because of a forthcoming double-wash, cuz that consideration never enters the picture..its just the thought of what could have been...just another missed opportunity to be slightly more sanitary than the average bear.

-coach

this made my week:

ACohn17 (3:12:11 AM): i made out!

-C&B

Berg of G (11:54:44 PM): http://cgi.ebay.com/69-Pictures-of-my-Very-HOT-Ex-Girlfriend-SEXY_W0QQitemZ5634879913QQcategoryZ1469QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

-coach and broach

i think there are many aspects of being a dog thats just a whole lot better than what we gotta do as humans. On your walk to the corner store you realize that you have to shit, so you pull your pants down and shit on the sidewalk. end of story; no waiting, no planning, no holding. even better than that, is that once your done you get to keep on walking like you didnt just shit all over the side walk. thats right- no wiping. how come god gave dogs perfect shitting assholes and we're stuck with these wipe-requiring stink banks? unfair and i move to make shitting on sidewalks no longer taboo. (as long as you have doggy bags of course)

and happy birfday to the ianbro

-your friend, leon

thank you god... i mean thank you drugs.

anf thankyou krony for sending me this

-C&B

so is "sickle-cell anemia" just a fancy word for ballhogitis? im getting tired of going to the gym to have a good time and getting a generous helping of racism instead. now, i'm not saying that anyone has done or said anything mean to me about being white and a mediocre basketball player at best, but let me make one thing clear. being black does not make you michael jordan. you heard it here first folks. even if you were jordan, you don't have to shoot the fuckin ball everytime.. jordan definitely did try to score every time he got the ball, but that doesn't mean he always took the shot himself. i've found few things less fun than playing 3 on 3 with 2 brothers on my "team," because 90% of the time they have left me completely out of the game, despite being only marginally better than me, if at all. i might as well put some zeppelin on and start playing hackysack like they expect, cuz i'm sure as hell not getting my hands on the rock.

-COACH

lil dosman (2:17:26 AM): how goes it

Auto response from buffalosnoda (2:17:26 AM): study town...population gay

-cnb

this is a follow up post from the SND one a week ago. seems my friend freefree thought he could outsmart the gods of SND...he was wrong:

Adam0791 (12:37:36 AM): thought i was the smartest guy in the world, turned out i was completely wrong. went to bed last night (sunday) at 10 pm and got out of bed today at 1 pm. woke up and thought i was the king of the world cause i had defeated sunday night depression

Adam0791 (12:38:34 AM): well guess who is completely depressed right now, has tears in his eyes. has chelsea coming over at 2 am and is drinking alone at the computer taking shots because shes disgusting.

Adam0791 (12:38:54 AM): i just turned sunday night depression into monday night depression. there is no avoiding it or sleeping through it, it just gets postponed


-jonesagoes

so here's a post about the cans and cants about saying "i love you" between male friends. obviously, we here at coachandbroach are not homophobic, but we all must be careful when exchanging this sweet phrase amongst friends. whenever saying i love you to your male friends, you MUST add a comma followed by a "man" or "bro" or "dawg." for example: "i love you, bro (with a pat on the back)." whats not ok is simply "i love you." for some reason, theres just a sweetly subtle GAY undertone to it. i dont know why or how this phenomenon came to be but try saying just "i love you," when you go give your friend a big appreciative hug and see what his reaction is. WARNING: coach and broach do not take any responsibility for said reaction.

amendment: NEVER use the person's name as in, "i love you, larry" and ESPECIALLY NEVER, "larry, i love you"

also NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you, we can't stress that enough, people.

-C&B

you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you

thanks domm, i dont know where the fuck you get these things

-C&B

so this post is about something odd that happened to me last week- its not as funny as it is what-the-fuck-ish.

so im in this ice cream place in harvard square with my mama and its my turn to order:
ice cream guy: what will you have today?
me: uhh oreo milkshake
guy: what kind of ice cream with that?
me: ill go vanilla.

so after a few minutes i get my milkshake and something is not right. tasted sourish and i look and see no oreos and it has an orangish tint. i go back to the counter and ask him if this is actually an oreo milkshake. his response was as follows:

"oh, i thought you said orangejuice milkshake."

-i sat there for a few seconds wondering if he was kidding, though by the cock-smirk on his face i could tell he was serious. he eventually made me a par-at-best oreo milkshake, but clearly thats not the point of this story. first of all, what the fuck is an orange juice milkshake. secondly, who the fuck would order an orange juice milk shake. and third and most importantly, how often must an orange juice milkshake get ordered so that one would mistake an oreo request with that of orange juice granted this is a FUCKING ICE CREAM PARLOR. im out

-leon jacob mandler

lil dosman (10:36:55 PM): when i asked for "2 chicken parm subs but can u make it with grilled chicken instead of fried for me?"

lil dosman (10:37:03 PM): he goes: "im sorry, there's no way i can do that."

buffalosnoda (10:37:14 PM): hahahhahahahahaha

buffalosnoda (10:37:23 PM): so what u udo

lil dosman (10:37:25 PM): there is absolutely no way that that would be possible

buffalosnoda (10:37:30 PM): hahahhahah

buffalosnoda (10:37:41 PM): did u tell him to relax

lil dosman (10:37:42 PM): i said "you can't just make a grilled chicken sandwich and put sauce and cheese on it"

buffalosnoda (10:37:51 PM): hahahaha

lil dosman (10:37:52 PM): and he goes ooooh, so you just dont want te chicken

lil dosman (10:38:07 PM): "i just want it with grilled chicken instead of the usual fried chicken"

lil dosman (10:38:20 PM): "oh ok. do you still want sauce and cheese on it too?"

-coach and broach

my brother just told me to google the word "love" for images. i suggest you all do it and riddle me how that is the first picture to come up.


-Jonees